Remga's Rules of Piracy
 Remga's Rules of Piracy
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Hint: In Statehelm
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| Category: | Misc
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| Area: | |
| Visibility: | Hidden Until Found
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Remga's Rules of Piracy is a Lorebook found under a bed at the Goblin's Armpit, an inn outside of Statehelm. An appropriate level of Goblinese is required to read this book.
Content
Remga's Rules of Piracy
With All 12 Canon Addendums
(Remga has added to his original rules over time. These addendums are in brackets below).
1. Decide the loot cuts before the gig (and write them down!). Nobody, including the captain, can change the cuts afterwards.
1.1. The captain may NOT move other crewmembers' shares of loot off-ship without a majority vote from the crew. I'm sick of these captaining shenanigans!
2. If you're bought, you stay bought. Don't double-cross anyone for less than triple your pay for the whole expedition. Don't triple-cross for less than 10 times your expedition pay!
2.1. And don't ever quadruple-cross. It's tacky. You're classier than that.
2.2. Yes, rule 2 applies to pirate captains' deals with other pirate captains! It also applies to deals with townies in a pirate-haven.
3. The duration of a standard pirate contract should be no more than 5 years at most. After that, the pirate can leave with their booty and no repercussions from the captain.
3.1. Time off must be listed in the contract and honored. Each year should include at least two months of time off.
3.2. Pirates must be given their share of the booty when they have time off. No hoarding everything until the end of contract!
4. A pirate can have as many lovers as they want, of course, but only one pirate-wife (at a time). Pirate-wives are given protection from other pirates, and if the pirate dies in battle, their pirate-wife receives the pirate's share. If you die without a pirate-wife, the mother (or father) of your first-born is given that honor.
(In the original goblinese, the term is gender-neutral, more like "pirate-spouse." But the common translation is "pirate-wife" regardless of gender, so one would say that a lady-pirate who takes a husband has a pirate-wife.
4.1. If your pirate-wife is a pirate aboard the ship, their pirate-wife must be you. No wife-chaining! You scheming buggers.
4.2. Pirates who give birth under contract are let free and dropped at the nearest safe port, along with their pirate-wife if applicable. Divvy their loot at the time of disembarking. It's unlucky to have infants onboard for any length of time. Unless it's the captains child. In that case it's lucky. Because I said so, that's why! ...