Hemmit Magmagrip
 Hemmit Magmagrip
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 Seems friendly enough.
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| Region: | [[Gazluk]]
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| Location: | |
| Beast Speak: | ???
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| Skill Trainer: | |
[[Category:Gazluk NPCs]]
“A new face in the cave, eh? Say... are you a big fan of caves?
Hemmit Magmagrip is a Dwarf member of the Aufghel Naturalist Society, and traveled to Gazluk alongside Mox Warcut and Bellema Deftwhisper. Hemmit is convinced that mushroom people exist, and that they have established a secret teleportation network.
Location
- Gazluk
- Found near the mushroom circle inside New Prestonbule Cave.
Items Purchased [view/edit]
Hemmit Magmagrip/Items purchased
Spending Limits [view/edit]
Hemmit Magmagrip/Spending limits
Quests
- Groxmax Mushrooms for Hemmit [Neutral] - Obtain 10 Groxmax Mushrooms. Hint
- Black Foot Morels for Hemmit [Neutral] - Obtain 10 Black Foot Morels. Hint
- Requirement: Complete Groxmax Mushrooms for Hemmit.
- The Mushroom Man's Secret [Netural] - Use the mushroom rings.
Training
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? | 50,000 councils | [Close Friends] |
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Requires 60 Mycology | 35,000 councils | [Friends] |
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50,000 councils |
- Nearly all the recipes can be learned here.
- Recipes level 1-3 require Friends.
- Recipes level 6-? require Close Friends.
Hang Out
- Have a mushroom-joke competition (3 hours) [Neutral]
Reward for Have a mushroom-joke competition: Hint
- Explain how mushroom circles work (8 hours)
Conversations
“So what brings you to the cave today? Are you in need of my mycological expertise?
- What's up with this circle of mushrooms?
Ah, good eye. It's a mushroom circle. I've seen several in my years, but this one's a bit special.
- What is it special?
Okay, this is gonna sound like a joke, but I'm not joking! Years ago when I was doing some mushroom analysis, I saw something appear in a circle like this one. It was a mushroom, bigger than me. And it could walk around! It tried to talk to me with some sort of mind magic, but I couldn't understand. But the point is, it teleported! I'm sure of it.
- So mushroom people can teleport via these circles?
Yes, and there's more. Hemmit looks to see if others are watching. Mox thinks I'm insane, but I tell you, I saw one of these mushroom people in a cave near here! The locals call it Snowblood Shadow Cave. There was a mushroom circle, a bit smaller than this one, and nearby was a mushroom man.
- Did you talk to him?
I tried to, but all I got was a headache. So now I'm doing every test I can think of to figure out the secret of these mushrooms... no luck so far, but some of my tests will take weeks to complete. Maybe I'll unlock a new kind of travel! Hey, a dwarf can dream, right?
If you head into that cave, see if you can find the mushroom man.
- I'll let you know if I find this mushroom.
“So this human woman is getting married for the fourth time. The Council flunkie who's doing the marriage ceremony asks what happened to her first three husbands. "It's so tragic. My first husband ate a bowl of false agaric mushrooms and died."
The flunkie says, "That's very sad! What about your second husband?"
"Oh that's even sadder. He ate an iocaine mushroom and died."
"That's terrible! I'm scared to even ask about your third husband..."
The women says, "Oh, he fell down a mine shaft." The flunkie gasps. "How did that happen?"
The woman says, "Well, he wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
“So this crazed human kidnaps two distinguished dwarven mycologists and says "I'm going to become famous by killing one of you! Which will it be?"
The dwarves both say they have important research left to do. So the crazy human says, "Fine. You each get two minutes to explain why I shouldn't kill you." The first mycologist explains how his work on fungal taxonomy is improving the world. He goes all out, talking about medical benefits, the number of people he can save with his improved schema, everything he can think of. The crazy human stops him and says, "Okay, your time's up. Next dwarf!"
The other mycologist says "Let me spend two minutes explaining why yeast genetics is an important research area..." but he was interrupted by the first mycologist who shouted "Kill me! Kill me!"
Ha ha, I love that one! But the idea that dwarven society would hold mycologists in high esteem is really the punchline. On a meta-level. It's one of those laugh-instead-of-crying jokes.
“So this elf comes to the farmer's market and he runs up to the vegetable stand. "I need a mushroom right away!" he shouts. The dwarven farmer says "Sorry, I'm sold out. Come back next week."
The elf leaves dejected, but a couple hours later he's right back. "Come on, dwarf, it's a kinky sex thing. I really gotta have a mushroom!" And the dwarf calmly explains there's no mushrooms. The elf leaves.
Right about closing time the elf runs back to the stand. "PLEASE, dwarf, give me a mushroom!"
The dwarf signs. "Look, elf, if you answer a couple questions for me I'll give you a mushroom. First spell 'cat,' like in 'cataclysm.'" The elf spells C-A-T.
"Now spell pig, like in 'pigmentation.'" The elf spells P-I-G.
"Great. Now spell fuck, like in 'mushrooms.'" The elf looks confused. "There's no 'fuck' in mushrooms."
The dwarf smacks the elf with his hat and shouts "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL FUCKING DAY!"
