Difference between revisions of "DPL Extension Testing Ground"

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Noita found me when I was struggling in the Murdo Isles. It's a lawless place where even a pig can own property -- if they're strong enough to hold on to it!

I was making money for a few months, but eventually goblins overran my mushroom farm. I was captured and Noita saved my bacon! That's when I got into physical fitness. I won't let that happen again!

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I love meat! I'm an omnivore, so that's completely normal. It's not like I eat pig meat! No... heh, no, my favorite meat by far is deer meat!

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No, no. I'm not immortal in any sense. But I *am* ascended by divine intervention! Probably.

I mean, I gained intelligence but not as a mage's familiar. I was struck by lightning and it somehow made me smart! There's no way that's a coincidence. Some god somewhere is looking out for me!

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I was banished for political reasons. I'm sure it'll work itself out eventually. But for a season or two, I guess I'm on the Summer side! It's a relief, really.

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You can trust me. Okay, maybe I'm not as trustworthy as an Autumn fairy. Or even as trustworthy as a Summer fairy. But I'm more trustworthy than a Spring fairy! That's around average trustworthiness, give or take.

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I'm really not like other Winter fae. They're all about killing and freezing, but I'm all about dark powers and cheese... Well, okay, most Winter fae like cheese. It's Autumn fae that hate cheese!

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The days and nights are pretty random here. This land is technically within the Winter Queen's domain, and she's declared it should have endless night. Agrashab repels the darkness when he can. It takes a lot out of him, though. He doesn't stick to much of a schedule.

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Yeah, the 'honeytenders' in the fields work for me... technically. Really they work for Agrashab, who ordered me to use them as guards. I'd fire the lazy oafs if I could!

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The name Agrashabia started as a joke, but I think it stuck because of Agrashab's reaction. He was embarrassed! Here's a god that can sustain a thousand avatars, oversees a few billion trolls, and he thinks its 'tacky' for anything to be named after him.

I guess mortals wouldn't understand, but we fairies think that's funny. Sort of endearing.

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The Winter Court will never stop sending killers after us. They can just revive and return a few days after we kill them. Whereas if *we* die, we'll reappear in the fae realm and be tortured for 20,000 years...

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When we realized thousands of fae had fled into this dimension, our queen sent a task force to build a city here. I'm part of that task force. We didn't do so great of a job. But we haven't given up!

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Oh, no, I didn't choose this realm as my hiding place JUST to see elves again. The trolls of U39 are known for their excellent fae mollusc silk. I've already collected quite a bit of it, and it truly is excellent material.

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I don't like the term 'mortal-tourist'. It makes me sound like some kind of cad who takes advantage of mortals. And I try to be better than that!

And anyway, I'm not a tourist right now, am I? I'm practically a refugee here! Look: I'm making my own clothes. Does that sound posh to you? No. So just lay off!

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I had such fun back when I last visited the mortal world that I just had to come back again. I'm hoping to get a chance to visit the elves! I just have to wait for all the fairy fighting to die down a bit.

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We use the silk of the fae mollusc to create fae silk. Not fae felt, that's a different thing entirely! Of course, I love fae felt too... in fact I've never fae-felt better! Hah! ... That's a fairy joke. Because of the other meaning of the word? ... Nevermind.

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I don't care what Pegast says: I'm not okay, and I'm not going hunting, and he can't make me. He can go be a scion elsewhere if he thinks he can boss me around.

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Have you met Midge? At least I'm not ... like her. But I could be. Any of us could be! That's not living. Which means we can die. It's really that simple.

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I love the way hunters from your realm use physical arrows in their bows. I switched to energy arrows centuries ago, but I've realized there's a huge benefit to your method: when your magic only has to accelerate a bit of wood, you can deal a LOT of damage without expending much energy! Clever mortals, perfecting something most fairies had abandoned!

So anyway, yeah, I've been making wood arrows to practice with. I just with they took up less space!

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There's more to life than delicious drinks, sure. But I haven't found any Fairy Felt in this dimension yet. So I make do.

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The fruits here aren't like the fruits back home! They're pretty good, though. I've been inventing new fruit drinks.

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Have you mastered the Riposte? I prefer it over Parry. We should spar some time, I'll show you the move.

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It's not an obsession. I mean I can stop any time I want to. I just love the taste of pork products. Actually just about any meat is great. But especially pork.

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I taught myself swordsmanship by killing pigs. I guess the fascination with pigs grew from that.

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Yep, I was there when Dwyndarre burned. I... don't really want to talk about it.

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Did you hear the humans want to collect taxes from us? Tax! Just for running a shop! That's absurd. There's barely any security here, so what would I be paying for? If you want to collect tax, you'd better... sorry. Council customs make me a little upset.

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Business isn't exactly booming out here. But there's enough wanderers stopping by to make it worth the trouble.

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It's just really hard to get motivated when you don't remember what you're supposed to care about. I don't know how you manage to look so gung-ho all the time!

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That's right, they said I was a general in some army! Sounds unlikely, huh? I do know a whole lot about military fortifications. But that could mean that I was a historian who studied old wars or something.

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Want to see my puppet show? It's about two skeletons stuck on an island. I write what I know.

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I'm not a big crabmeat fan. I mix it with oats because... hm, I guess I don't really know why I do that. I guess I'm not a great cook.

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Fairies are smaller than humans, so you might think the best plan of attack is with very long weapons. But not so! Small weapons like daggers let us use our speed to full advantage.

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I nearly died getting out of the fairy realm. Preta saved me when my wing was mangled. But I dropped my beloved knife. I made this replacement, but it's not the same.

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Alchemy and shopkeeping go hand and hand. I mean, you gotta buy the ingredients, and sell the results, so it just fits.

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I heard Mushroom Jack has invented a delicious meat substitute out of mushrooms. He won't share, though. Says it's not perfected yet.

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Busy busy busy! I'm in this store practically all the time, either making stuff or selling stuff. But it's not like there's a lot of entertainment in this dive, so I'm not exactly missing out on anything.

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Now I may not be a human, but I think I do pretty well at this shop-keeping business anyway.

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I had a lot of knowledge before the incident. I think most of that knowledge is gone now, but that's not the real problem. The problem is I can't gather new knowledge if my memory is broken!

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I was thinking maybe I should kill myself, you know, in case it makes my brain work better. But it didn't help: I died and woke up at the lifestone, but I remembered nothing. If anything, dying made my memory even worse!

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I remember being grabbed by a huge monster, and then my bones all cracked, and then I though I was reborn, but not really: I was still being held! And I died again, and again, over and over.

And now I can't remember things well. But I can fix this. Gotta stay focused...

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Most everything in the fae realm is immortal in the 'never-get-old' sense. But immortality in the 'come back to life if you're murdered' sense is much rarer! Around here, the only creatures that come back are fairies, pixies, barghests, trolls... oh and those phoenices! Did I miss any?

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You may have heard the fairies whispering about me, but it's not really a secret: yes, I collect the well-preserved hides of murdered animals. But only for research purposes! They disturb me too, especially the big cat skins. But I must know. I must know everything there is to know about death.

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No, I don't' really have a problem with people hunting fae panthers... it's not any different than hunting those idiot bears or the rhinos: most of my species are hardly smarter than mortal animals, so it's not really murder.

Unless of course, the animals have managed to ascend, in which case it'd totally be murder!

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I've been the personal trainer for over six hundred kinds of ascended animals. I'm sure I can help any animal fight better! Although I'll direct pig-related inquiries to Backfat over there.

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Marrowchomp is great once you get to know him! But it takes a few decades for him to really open up. In the meantime you should stay out of his personal space. He's got a thing against bipeds; it's this whole long story.

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I'm happy I was already lifebound out here. It seemed like a risky move when I did it a few decades ago, though! But now guess who's not being tortured? This genius right here!

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My hive was mostly obliterated during the Winter Invasion. We knew they were coming, but we didn't expect the attack to happen at the very moment of the queen's Coronation!

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I managed to pull Midge, Floxie, and Crelpin here after the disaster in sector A14. I have friends on the Autumn Defiant, and they helped. Speaking of which, I think we may soon have a few more survivors arriving!

But a word of warning: Floxie has vivid memories of what she thinks happened, but that's not the story I heard from my other friends. I'm not saying she's lying! I just think she's confused. So don't read too much into her words.

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I kind of like the manual labor part of writing books. I've never done this before, I've always just dictated. It's kind of fun!

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I ran a small library in the fae realm. It cataloged the power words of each epoch. But here in this world, words of power come and go almost instantly. You can't use any word more than once! How strange.

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My friends have been through a lot, and they've always pulled through, so I'm sure they're fine. Well, not completely sure, but I'm not entirely hopeless about their survival, anyway...

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When I lived in Summeria, I had a cozy little hive filled with beautiful artwork. I loved it! But you know how it is for immortals: we always outlive our possessions.

I left early, so I don't know the exact fate of my hive, but if it still exists at all, it'll be frozen solid by now.

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I'd forgotten the little thrills of selling and buying things! I haven't been a shopkeeper for, oh, 12,000 years or so. My last shop exploded, and after that I lost interest.

To tell the truth, I'm kinda losing interest again already... but I'll try to hold out until the Winter Queen is dethroned. Just a few thousand years...

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I've been running this store for less that a year, and it's reminded me that being a shopkeeper is grueling and unrewarding. I'll stick it out for this season, but in 18,998 years I'm closing up the shop for good!

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Serbule is just a publicity stunt for the Council. "We took in the refugees, aren't we a kindly mageocracy? We even take care of the freakish elves!" I won't be a part of their little show. I have my own little show here!

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Oh yes, I'm classically trained. The Bard College of Jamurra is one of the top three bardic schools in the world! Well, at least the continent.

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I lost everything when Dwyndarre was destroyed. A hundred years of getting my name out, earning patrons... all gone. So I decided to work these human lands instead. There's fewer bards here, so I should make good money! Eventually. When word gets out.

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I am the master of mind over matter. Or at least I thought I was, before becoming a druid.

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Everyone's better than me at growing plants. It's infuriating! I *will* grow this tree! Grow, damn you!

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Among orcs I am feared and respected for my psychic powers. But among druids I seem ... merely adequate. These elven druids can teach me much about control. It's a pity they're so annoying.

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I've fought many ranalon in my time and I am confident that we can eventually run them out of Sun Vale. These winter court fairies, however... we can certainly defeat them, but they return to life quite quickly. That's proving to be a difficult challenge.

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I've been mastering a new bird form -- a cormorant. The raven form is fast, but not so great on open ocean. Haven't quite got it working yet, though.

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We've yet to see tremendous benefits from our relationship with the summer court. But we don't do good deeds in hope of getting something back! We helped them so that they harm nature as little as possible with their presence.

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We druids have been here for several years, but until a few months ago our camp was further south. The fairies are so concerned about their safety that they asked us to move our camp closer.

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There was a second engineer with me originally. Lady Rasheen. She died after exploring a nearby room. She said a lich with the mind of a child was stealing her memories. She died slowly, horribly.

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Those little dinosaurs can rend flesh at an insane rate! But they have a hard time clawing through armor.

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Have you seen those dinosaurs down here? Yeah, that... uh... that was a council corps error. We portalled 'em in from hundreds of miles away! They can't hurt you much if you're wearing enough armor.

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I keep the place mostly safe with my runes and sigils. Was never really good with a sword, but I'm great at the lost art of sigil-scripting.

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Solgribue like ... oops, *I* like when you visit, help I practice human language. I remember to call (player name) 'you'. Troll language not have word 'I' or 'you' or 'we'. Troll language use arms more.

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Solgribue make jewelry. Very weird for troll! Forge has fire, trolls hate fire. But fairy fire not as scary.

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I live here many years past, then move away. But come back now because new home very cold. Verrrrrrrrry cold. Solgribue not want to turn into winter troll!

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Mortals tell dumb troll lie: 'troll become stone in sunlight'. Whaaaaaa? Troll live in "Sun Vale"! Love sun! Very nice! Just not love BE ON FIRE. Not same!

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Solgribue learn to make jewelry from fairy named Trellan. Good friend many seasons. Then Trellan freezed to death by winter Court. Trellan come back, not remember Solgribue, not remember jewelry making, not even like jewelry now! Very sad.

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The fishing's pretty good out here. I mean, I've seen better but no complaints. There's amberjack out there long as my arm.

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Been a Druid for nearly thirty years. Which is a long time for a human! I still work as hard as any of them elves, but between jobs I gotta take weight off the old feet.

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Used ta be pretty great with the bow, but this old body don't cooperate too well anymore.

But my doe form's still limber and deadly, so I fight deer-style nowadays.

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Seems like every year my old joints ache a little more. Pretty soon I'll have to take up animal form full-time just to keep up the pace. That's why I'm working on a pelican form. It's a good fishing bird!

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They call me Squidlips 'cuz I love ta fish. And... well, I guess I've never been a looker!

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I just need a little bit of pineal juice to keep me going through the night. I have so much to do!

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When we realized thousands of fae had fled into this dimension, our queen sent a task force to help them build a city. I'm part of that task force. We didn't do so great of a job.